Surely not Love!
by elaize
Summary: Miyu's down her memory lane reminiscing about perhaps the most cherished memory of her life...the first time she fell in love...how does her husband reacts when he finds out that she is still in love with the same person from all those years ago...my first fanfic ever...it's a one shot...please read and review!


_Date: - 15th April, 2000_

 _Dear diary,_

 _I've witnessed this scene in so many movies 'the guy looks at the girl, she looks at him and their eyes meet, staring into each other and the whole world simply fades in the background'. Although that moment is exaggerated in all of those movies and novels I've read. I would always watch and then think what a stupid and by far the most repeated scene in the history of romantic stories, a stamp for sealing the fate of those two, that they'll eventually fall in love later, but trust me it's so NOT true! In real life you just don't fall in love with the person you have unwavering eye contact for maybe longer than a moment or two. Or so I thought until I found myself in a similar situation. I was sixteen. I was sitting on the first bench in my coaching class and this guy from my school sat right behind me on the second bench. Every day he would simply call my name and ask me to hand over his bag at the end of our class but that evening he didn't. Instead he leaned over his bench to pick up his bag and I was still sitting on my bench unaware of him or his actions when I suddenly felt weight on my right shoulder, as if someone was hugging me from back. And soon I found him leaning over me trying to reach for his bag. At first I felt angry at his audacity to lean over me in front of whole class but instead I tried to keep my calm and backed away from him, as far as I could in that impossibly little space I had to myself. I was sort of trapped between his body and the wall since I always sat at the corner seat towards the wall so I could lean onto it. He was too close to me than necessary as he grabbed his bag while I waited patiently for him to back away but he didn't retreat and instead looked at me. That's when I looked at him and our eyes met. Everybody at school knew about us, they knew that we mostly fought and argued over anything and everything. He was probably the most handsome guy at school but he came with an impossible attitude. He was the biggest narcissist I've ever met. But in that moment something definitely happened. I swear I noticed something in his eyes, something apart from the usual scorn he always had reserved especially for me. Sounds cliché but for the first time I saw his eyes from so close and what I saw wasn't hatred. It was something different but I can't be so sure. Although I swear I saw something different but it wasn't love for me surely. He would never love me. He could never love me. I was nowhere near the kind of girls he dated. The kind of girls he liked, comfortable with everything he did with them. I had heard rumours about his 'activities' with his girlfriends but I would never let a guy near me let alone touch me. It was the reason why I was angry at him for leaning over me without any prior warning but his eyes made me forget everything, exactly the way it happens in all the novels I've read. That you forget about everything else and those eyes you're staring into become your centre of the world. He definitely had beautiful eyes or maybe it's my obsession with eyes but I noticed them for the first time that day. He seemed like he was about to say something but he didn't and backed away from me instead leaving me with my heart racing heart. I felt like I was caught red handed doing something extremely disgraceful because my heart just couldn't stop racing._

 _I still don't know how so much happened within a time frame of maybe 2 or 3 seconds at max. I can never fathom what I saw in his eyes. I don't even know if it was real or some part of my imagination but one thing that I do know is that we didn't argue that often after that evening and that he became friendlier with me. But I'll never know what the real reason was for that, if he really did like me or if it was simply because he left after few months. He's gone, never to come back and somehow he did manage to leave behind a void in my heart that has now become really hard for me to fill in. Don't know if I'll ever see him again ever, but if I do then maybe I'll have enough courage to ask him about that moment we had shared. To ask him if he too felt the way I did in that moment. Did he find it intimate the way our eyes met? If he too believed he saw something between us or was it all my imagination._

 _I don't know if I'll ever see him again because I don't even know where he is now. I don't know if I love him cause tell me what are the odds of falling for someone you've never had one proper conversation with without arguing?_

Miyu was holding her diary, lost in her memories when suddenly her husband sneaked up on her. She wasn't prepared and he took the advantage. Laughing he snatched her diary from her while she tried to calm her nerves _"you frightened me"_. He gave her a mock apologetic look and started reading. After reading her diary he looked up to her, his face impassive. He is so good at hiding his feelings she thought.

 _"At least now you know what it was, don't you Miyu?"_ He hugged her, kissing her softly and touched his forehead to hers as if trying to convey what he felt for her. _"I've always loved you Miyu ever since I saw you, every evening when I sat right behind your seat. During school and during those basketball games we played with rest of our friends. You're wrong about my kind of girls. You're my type of girl but I thought you were too nice, too innocent, and too good to be mine. Although you never asked how I felt in that moment. I realized how much I loved you because I wanted to hold you and kiss you right then but I thought you didn't like me so I backed away. I knew I had to leave and I didn't know if I was coming back so I never told you how I felt about you. Yes I felt the same way then, yes I found it intimate the way our eyes met. I believed I too saw something in your eyes but just like you I wasn't sure. You didn't imagine it Miyu. I loved you then, I love you now and I will always love"._

Kanata's sincere confession was too much for her as tears fell down her cheeks. She couldn't say anything after this. She looked at him grinning through her teary face. She tried to convey how she felt about him without words. That she loved him too. That he was the first person she fell in love with and he'll always be the one for her. FOREVER...

Okay this was too cheesy but c'mon i'm an idiot who write things on whims...this was a creation of such whim and something personal...and for all those who are (or not) wondering if it's true then yup its true EVERY SINGLE WORD OF IT except she doesn't know if she'll end up marrying him or not, that's what I wish for her!

Please read and review!feel free to suggest anything - good, bad...anything!THANKS


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